Archive for the 'Politics' Category

Now it is my fault

January 27th, 2012

It’s funny how things change.

Last December, our Glorious Leader, Dane Enda gave a State of the Nation speech.  One thing he was definite about – it was not the People who caused the financial crisis.

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Later on, he expanded on that.  It was not the People; it was the banks, crap government and developers.  The only one he missed there was the Financial Regulator who was fast asleep at the wheel.  At least it wasn’t our fault.  He wasn’t blaming me.

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Yesterday he was asked yet again what caused the crash in Ireland.

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What the fuck?

No mention of builders?  No mention of the Worst Government in History?  No mention of the Financial Regulator?  Suddenly it’s my fault?

Fuck that.

I can only assume that he spent his little winter holiday in Davos arse licking.

It would explain why he is so full of shite.

A broadcasting television licence levy charge

January 19th, 2012

Does anyone have a clue what our great Minister for Communications is doing?

If you have, then please tell him, because he seems to have utterly confused himself over his latest gimmick.

He claims he is abolishing the television licence and that he is replacing it with a “broadcasting charge”.

His argument is that not only are too many people avoiding paying the licence [*cough*] but that people are using things other than a television to watch television.  What the fuck?  Now I know that it is easy enough to watch television on a computer, but unless you have a fairly decent size screen, that is not normally an option for a family.  He also quotes mobile phones as a means of viewing television.  Now quite frankly if a family is going to sit down of an evening to watch their favourite film on a mobile phone propped on the mantelpiece then they want their heads [and eyes] examined. 

The only plausible way he can run this latest farcical idea is to charge every house in the land on the assumption that everyone has a television, a computer and a mobile phone. And if you don’t have any of the three how do you prove that?  Anyone knows it is extremely difficult to prove a negative.

One of the lines that has even me confused is his statement that “a huge number of the population now get their news not from sitting down and watching the nine o’clock news but accessing the arrangements that the public service broadcaster has put in place”   Now what in the name of fuck is that about?  Is he complaining that we read the RTE website instead of watching the news?  If RTE are moaning about that then why do they have a website in the first place?  That’s equivalent to complaining that we get our news from local gossip instead of the radio.

So from what I can gather, we are going to have a licence that isn’t a licence and it’s going to be levied on all households but it isn’t a household levy.

I like Pat Rabbitte.

Even on my worst days he makes me feel positively sane.

Translating the politicians

January 17th, 2012

***  This is a guest post by John  ***

Like me, I would guess that you are sick and tired of all the half truths, exaggerations, evasions and bare faced lies you hear from our politicians these days. It has become a complete waste of time to listen to any of them on the media. Sometimes you know they are lying, sometimes you suspect it and other times you are not sure. Any wonder then that we are totally in the dark as to what is actually happening around us.

This has troubled me for some time now because I really do want to hear the truth, no matter how bad that might be. And then it struck me one evening, how I could get it. Like most great ideas, it is so simple. All you have to do is listen to exactly what the politician says, and then reverse it in your own head. Just think the complete opposite of what you just heard, and that will be the truth.

Here are samples of the sort of thing I mean.

Politician:  "There is simply no alternative".

What it means:  "There’s hundreds of alternatives but we’re too lazy to consider any of them".

Politician:  "We are committed to protecting the poor and disadvantaged".

What it means:  "We are really going to shaft those bastards".

Politician:  "I’ve never worked so hard".

What it means:  "I have not done a decent day’s work in my life".

Politician:  "This Government will try everything to ………..".

What it means:  "We intend to do fuck-all about ………..".

Politician:  "And let me be completely clear about this ……..".

What it means:  "This next bit is utter bullshit".

Politician:  "It is my intention to ……..".

What it means:  "I have no intention of ………".

Politician:  "The party leader has my full support".

What it means:  "I’m plotting with others to get rid of the bastard".

Politician:  "Having carefully studied all the facts of this matter".

What it means:  "This is the first I’ve heard of it, so here’s an off-the-cuff remark".

Politician:  "I will be giving this my full attention in the future".

What it means:  "This is the last I expect to hear about this shit".

Politician:  "There will be no hospital closures in the lifetime of this Government".

What it means:  "We’ll be shutting hospitals left right & centre".

Politician:  "My strong feelings on that matter are well known".

What it means:  "I couldn’t give a flying fuck either way".

Politician:  "We want to be transparent and accountable at all times".

What it means:  "There is no way we will ever be transparent and accountable in my lifetime".

Politician:  "The people have spoken".

What it means:  "The people in Government that is".

Politician:  "We are doing everything we can".

What it means:  "We are doing absolutely nothing and won’t do anything either".

Politician:  "This is now a priority".

What it means:  "It’s even off the back burner".

Politician:  "I have dedicated my life to public service".

What it means:  "The public will serve me for the rest of my life, if I can get away with it".

So, if you listen to any of them, on radio or television, try this out. You will be horrified at how accurate it turns out to be!

Moraly wrong

Reinventing the pencil

January 11th, 2012

Back in 2002 our gubmint of the day decided to make an investment.

Supreme Cunt Bertie Ahern ordered 7,000 electronic voting machines.

No one really knows why he did this.  He claimed that if we didn’t have them that we would be the laughing stock of Europe, which seems a little off beam as most other countries don’t have them either.  But then logic was never Ahern’s strong point.  He maintained that for people to vote using a pen and ballot paper was old hat and he wanted to brag to all his pals in Brussels that we were a high-tech country.  Now the wish to brag sounds a lot more like Ahern.  The little shit always did like the limelight.

What Ahern failed to realise is that the old system works.  Pens don’t get viruses and rarely break down.  They are pretty much fool proof.

The new voting machines were a different kettle of maggots altogether.  They were flaky.  They were unreliable.  Worst of all, they were wide open to tampering.  In short, they were the last thing people wanted to use when dealing with a totally corrupt system like our gubmint.

So for the last ten years all 7,000 machines have been sitting around cluttering up the place in various storage depots.

Our current gubmint has decided to dump the machines as the storage fees are mounting.  They now have to find a way of dumping them.

Total cost of this fiasco – €55,000,000

Current value – €0

*Sigh*

Blood suckers

January 10th, 2012

euro

This recession thing is getting very tiresome.

There are a lot of avenues when it comes to raising cash to fill the EU gubmint’s coffers.  They could introduce all sorts of taxes on the higher earners [“Oh no, we can’t do that – no one would come over here and start up new businesses”]  They could chase down those who fleeced the country during “the good times”.  Feckit; there are dozens of ways.

But what are they doing?

Milking pensioners.

Yup.  That’s right.  Need a few million? – let’s force pensioners to pay more tax.

They sent out somewhere in the region of 150,000 letters to pensioners telling them that they are going to have to cough up a lot more tax. 

Of course this has led to blind panic which in turn led to 20,000 of ‘em phoning their tax offices to find out what the fuck was going on.  Chaos and confusion.

Frankly I am more than a little nauseated at this turn of events.  My theory is that they are scraping the pensions simply because they haven’t found a way of taxing children, the disabled or the handicapped. 

For once, I don’t blame the gubmint except in so far as it refuses to stand up to Brussels.  No – the blame lies squarely at the feet of the EU.  The bastards are here at the moment going through our books to make sure that we are all bled dry in order to save their precious fucking Euro.  Apparently the pension fiasco is their idea.

The Meeja insists on calling them the Troika, which is much too honourable a name.

They are just three blood sucking leeches.

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