Archive for the 'Property' Category

Flushed with money

Grandad April 28th, 2009

There were a few strange things that developed during the Affluent Years.

Two of them I have already mentioned – the obsessions with SUVs and electronic gates.

I can understand these up to a point.

Ownership of an SUV was a public statement – “look at me. I have arrived!” It was an ostentatious display of wealth along the lines of a Prada handbag or membership of the K-Club. The fact that the owners couldn’t drive the fucking things was irrelevant.

Electronic gates were presumably a statement to the world that the owners of the property had vast wealth that needed protecting, and they were much too exclusive to accept casual callers anyway.

But there was another obsession though which baffles me.

Apparently you are considered to be the lowest form of pond life if you don’t have more bathrooms than bedrooms in your house.

I have seen houses advertised with five bedrooms, all en suite, a main bathroom and a downstairs cloakroom. What in the name of all that’s holy is that all about? Five bedrooms and seven toilets?

Of course it is de rigeur to refer to them as en suites. The upper crust don’t have such vulgar things as toilets. Some referred to them as ‘rest rooms’ which is an Americanism I just don’t understand. Who the fuck goes to rest in a jax?

Here in Head Rambles Manor, we still have the outside chemical toilet. I use it now for storing logs, which is kind of appropriate when you think about it? We modernised a few years ago and got an inside one that actually flushes, if you manage to wiggle the lever in a certain way. We spend a minute fraction of our day in there, doing what has to be done.

So why does anyone need a jax in every bedroom? Is there an almighty epidemic of incontinence? Have people lost the run of their bowels as well as their bank accounts? How many toilets can you use at one time, for Heaven’s sake!

Why the hell can’t they piss in a shoe like the rest of us?

Around the house , Property , Rambles
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The Accidental Terrorist restores order

Grandad February 28th, 2008

I wrote last week that there was to be a meeting about my trees eating lorries.

The meeting was held.

My God, it was horrible!

I decided to bring TAT along as my weapon of choice. I asked our K8 not to feed him for a day or two beforehand, and not to give him his pills that day.

Unfortunately, she got overenthusiastic, and withheld all his medication for 24 hours, including the injections.

I didn’t know this, and when the meeting started, I let TAT loose.

Even I was horrified at the carnage. They had to call three ambulances. Two of my neighbours now think they are Napoleon and are emigrating to St Elba. Three more are in a state of catatonic shock and doctors don’t hold out much hope of recovery. I was OK because TAT knows my smell [pipe tobacco, and old socks], but for the first time in quite a while, I was scared.

I eventually managed to get TAT caged again. The meeting was cancelled because the chairman was crying in the toilets and wouldn’t come out.

I think my trees are safe.

Thanks, TAT.

Property , Rambles
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I've been tagged again

Grandad November 11th, 2007

Our K8 has come up with a new meme.

And, bless her little cotton socks, she has passed it on to me.

She wants me to write a post that uses every tag. It’s all very well for her – she only has a few. I have loads. The cow!

Now I may be getting old but I find these difficult. I had a hard days blogging yesterday, as I had a good rant on a podcast to America. That was after I did my post on Cully and Sully.

So today I went for a ramble around the garden, trying to think of a topic. No go. There was no inspiration around the house either, and I’m damned if I’m going around the village or around the town for something so trivial.

Back in the 70’s life was a lot simpler. There were no computers or Internet, or even television so there were no memes. I had no irritating daughter in the family either. We found our pleasures in simple things. I remember learning to drive so we could go on holidays touring in the West, with no worries about flying and Global Warming. We had such simple sports as children in times past, like watching spiders spin their webs, and the designs they’d make. We’d go for rambles through the woods and have picnics of tea and spam sandwiches. We were a lot healthier for it.

Nowadays, work is the new religion and people have lost the use of their imagination. People only get worked up over celebrities and smoking out corrupt politicians. They panic over property prices and have lost sight of the soul of life.

No.

I can’t think of anything.

I elect not to do it.

I’m going to file this under Uncatagorised.

Maybe Sixty should have a bash at this?

Or how about Kirk at Just Thinkin’? I haven’t tagged him before.

And it’s a while since I annoyed Grannymar!!

tag-award

F*cking memes….

America , Around the garden , Around the house , Around the town , Around the village , Back to the 70s , Cully & Sully , Election , Getting old , Global Warming , Health , Holidays , Internet , Learning to drive , On the road , Podcasting , Politics , Property , Rambles , Rants , Religion? , Smoking , Television , The Family , Times past , Tourists , Uncategorized , Web design , computers , spam , sport , work
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A house with an unusual feature?

Grandad September 29th, 2007

Are you a Compulsive Depressive?

Do you do things and regret it after?

Do you buy very expensive houses, and wake up the next morning after only to realise that you have landed yourself with a massive mortgage millstone for the next thirty years?

I have just the property for you. I found it in the Irish Times.

Note the caption to the photograph….

So there you have your solution.

If only I could speak French

Grandad September 18th, 2007

There are times when I contemplate packing it all in.

I am sick of the miserable weather and the high prices.

I yearn for winters that are winters, and summers that are summers. I want to hear the crickets sing in the long grass of an evening as the sun goes down after a scorching day.

I found this advertised on the Interweb..

It needs a bit of work. It looks a bit damp and worn out with a few bits missing. Actually, it reminds me of myself. It is also in a part of France that is absolutely beautiful.