Head Rambles

Grandad June 14th, 2011

I see some Irish have not lost their sense of humour.

They want to build a casino in Two Mile Borris in the middle of Ireland.  They have actually gotten planning permission for it.

The idea is to build a two acre casino, a racetrack and a 500 bed hotel.  They reckon it is going to be a world leader in casinos.  They point to Las Vagas and argue that that started with a single one armed bandit machine.  They reckon that Two Mile Borris is to be the new Monte Carlo.

This little idea is going to cost in the region of half a billion.

There are a couple of things though that they seem to have overlooked.

Ireland has too many hotels.  During the boom years they built hotels like they were going out of fashion.  Every back road in the fucking country seems to have its own hotel, and most of them are having a mighty struggle to survive.  And they want to build another?

They want to build a racetrack, when we probably have more race-tracks per head of population than any other country in the world.

You won’t believe this, but they also want to build an exact full size replica of the White House.

Two Mile Borris?

There is another small snag that they may have overlooked.

Casinos are illegal in Ireland.

Fucking idiots.

You have to laugh.

Else you’d cry.

• Property , Rambles
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Grandad October 6th, 2010

FOR SALE

One hardly used house

As featured on frequent news items television.

Within difficult easy commuting distance of Dublin [so is perfect for those mileage claims]

Experience the life of luxury and live like a senator.

Offers over €650,000 plus expenses.

Ideal as holiday home, but may be used as primary residence for substantial extra cashflow.

The owner is currently unemployed and is anxious for a quick sale.

Full details here

• Property
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Grandad April 28th, 2009

There were a few strange things that developed during the Affluent Years.

Two of them I have already mentioned – the obsessions with SUVs and electronic gates. 

I can understand these up to a point.

Ownership of an SUV was a public statement – “look at me.  I have arrived!”  It was an ostentatious display of wealth along the lines of a Prada handbag or membership of the K-Club.  The fact that the owners couldn’t drive the fucking things was irrelevant.

Electronic gates were presumably a statement to the world that the owners of the property had vast wealth that needed protecting, and they were much too exclusive to accept casual callers anyway.

But there was another obsession though which baffles me.

Apparently you are considered to be the lowest form of pond life if you don’t have more bathrooms than bedrooms in your house.

I have seen houses advertised with five bedrooms, all en suite, a main bathroom and a downstairs cloakroom.  What in the name of all that’s holy is that all about?  Five bedrooms and seven toilets?

Of course it is de rigeur to refer to them as en suites.  The upper crust don’t have such vulgar things as toilets.  Some referred to them as ‘rest rooms’ which is an Americanism I just don’t understand.  Who the fuck goes to rest in a jax?

Here in Head Rambles Manor, we still have the outside chemical toilet.  I use it now for storing logs, which is kind of appropriate when you think about it?  We modernised a few years ago and got an inside one that actually flushes, if you manage to wiggle the lever in a certain way.  We spend a minute fraction of our day in there, doing what has to be done.

So why does anyone need a jax in every bedroom?  Is there an almighty epidemic of incontinence?  Have people lost the run of their bowels as well as their bank accounts? How many toilets can you use at one time, for Heaven’s sake!

Why the hell can’t they piss in a shoe like the rest of us?

• Around the house , Property , Rambles
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Grandad February 28th, 2008

I wrote last week that there was to be a meeting about my trees eating lorries.

The meeting was held.

My God, it was horrible!

I decided to bring TAT along as my weapon of choice.  I asked our K8 not to feed him for a day or two beforehand, and not to give him his pills that day.

Unfortunately, she got overenthusiastic, and withheld all his medication for 24 hours, including the injections.

I didn’t know this, and when the meeting started, I let TAT loose.

Even I was horrified at the carnage.  They had to call three ambulances.  Two of my neighbours now think they are Napoleon and are emigrating to St Elba.  Three more are in a state of catatonic shock and doctors don’t hold out much hope of recovery.  I was OK because TAT knows my smell [pipe tobacco, and old socks], but for the first time in quite a while, I was scared.

I eventually managed to get TAT caged again.  The meeting was cancelled because the chairman was crying in the toilets and wouldn’t come out.

I think my trees are safe.

Thanks, TAT.

• Property , Rambles
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Grandad November 11th, 2007

Our K8 has come up with a new meme.

And, bless her little cotton socks, she has passed it on to me.

She wants me to write a post that uses every tag. It’s all very well for her – she only has a few. I have loads. The cow!

Now I may be getting old but I find these difficult. I had a hard days blogging yesterday, as I had a good rant on a podcast to America. That was after I did my post on Cully and Sully.

So today I went for a ramble around the garden, trying to think of a topic. No go. There was no inspiration around the house either, and I’m damned if I’m going around the village or around the town for something so trivial.

Back in the 70′s life was a lot simpler. There were no computers or Internet, or even television so there were no memes. I had no irritating daughter in the family either. We found our pleasures in simple things. I remember learning to drive so we could go on holidays touring in the West, with no worries about flying and Global Warming. We had such simple sports as children in times past, like watching spiders spin their webs, and the designs they’d make. We’d go for rambles through the woods and have picnics of tea and spam sandwiches. We were a lot healthier for it.

Nowadays, work is the new religion and people have lost the use of their imagination. People only get worked up over celebrities and smoking out corrupt politicians. They panic over property prices and have lost sight of the soul of life.

No.

I can’t think of anything.

I elect not to do it.

I’m going to file this under Uncatagorised.

Maybe Sixty should have a bash at this?

Or how about Kirk at Just Thinkin’? I haven’t tagged him before.

And it’s a while since I annoyed Grannymar!!

F*cking memes….

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