Archive for the 'Rambles' Category

Haute cuisine cardboard

Grandad February 27th, 2010

I have never flown with Ryanair, so I can’t claim to know much about it.

Apparently though they have scratch cards.  I don’t know if you get one free with every ticket, which I doubt, as Ryanair seem to charge you for breathing, or whether you buy them on the flight.

I do know a bit about scratch cards, even though I don’t buy them either.  However, I have bought them, scratched them and collected my winnings.  One thing I do know about them is that if you win more than a certain amount, then you have to collect your winnings elsewhere, as presumably most shops don’t carry thousands in cash, just in case.

Apparently, a passenger on a Ryanair flight had one of these scratch cards. He scratched it, and blow me down with a feather – he won.   €10,000.  A nice little sum?

Now Ryanair are the type of airline who would, if they could get away with it, ask their cabin crew not to wear underwear and their cockpit crew to fly naked, as it would cut down on weight and increase profits.  The idea of lugging €10,000 in notes all the time would be an anathema to them.  In other words – they don’t carry that kind of cash around with them.

Our friend who won wasn’t too happy with this.  He threw a hissy fit.  He demanded his winnings on the spot.

He was told he would have to collect his winning when they landed.

If I were in his shoes, I would spend the rest of the flight happily dreaming up ways and means of spending €10,000.  That represents quite a few pints of Guinness.  It represents a very nice holiday somewhere.  If Romania were the land of your dreams, you could probably buy yourself a house there.

This wasn’t good enough for our friend.  He stamped his little foot and demanded his money there and them.  Maybe he wasn’t the dreaming type?

In frustration, what did he do?

He ate the scratch card.

As gestures go, that was quite spectacular.  I’m not sure what he gained by it, but I do know he lost €10,000.

I hope it tasted nice.

It was the most expensive meal he ever had.

Don’t believe me?

The start of a new life

Grandad February 20th, 2010

I woke up this morning, which wasn’t easy after a bottle of best champagne and a bottle of whiskey last night, and realised that this is the first day of a new life.

After all, it is not every day one wakes up for the first time as an official pensioner?  Not that I feel any different, but fuckit, I can now put pensioner down as my official occupation.

I had my mug of tea, and fed the guinea swine and then had a browse of the Interweb.  One of the first things to pop up was a post on one of my regular reads.

After a very long and difficult journey, Xbox is a daddy at long last!!

Sanne

It sort of puts my new life into perspective when Sanne is really starting hers.

I am thrilled for them.  Their journey has been full of disappointments and difficulties, but Xbox has brought us with him on that journey with courage and humour.

So get your arses over there to Xbox4NappyRash and congratulate them.

Mine eyes have been opened

Grandad February 17th, 2010

I learned something today.

I was under the impression that American Football was supposed to be the ultimate in macho-male sports.

Until I saw this:

A_Football

Though apparently English Soccer is no different?

E_Football

I live and learn.

To my Valentine

Grandad February 14th, 2010

Some mornings I feel quite stiff when I wake up.

I have found that one answer to this little problem is to partake in some vigorous exercise.

Invariably at times like this, my thoughts turn to my true love.

She always provides the solution.

Paedophilia and prostitution

Grandad February 6th, 2010

Maybe it’s just me and my old fashioned attitude to life, but I found this rather nauseating.

You know that kid Miley Cyrus?  She’s the one who was forced into a life of show business at the age of fourteen or fifteen or something by her father.  She is now probably facing a life of substance abuse and mental torment as a result.

She has a nine year old sister, Noah.  I suppose it gives a little insight into the family’s mentality that they should call a daughter Noah?

Anyway, this Noah, at the age of nine, is producing her own range of lingerie for kids!

Is it just me, or does anyone else find this deeply disturbing?

How come a man can prostitute his daughters in such a manner?

The paedophiles must love him.

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