Grandad April 14th, 2012
They seem to have been having some fun up the north end of the county.
In the space of a few hours they had quite an impressive waterspout, and then one of their major pubs burned down. I don’t know if there is a connection but so much craic in one morning can hardly be a coincidence?
I confess I was surprised at the waterspout. They aren’t exactly a common phenomenon, which probably explains why some fucking idiots are calling it a tornado.
The pub is a different matter.
There were strong rumours that for the last few weeks the owners had been selling tickets to view the blaze.
The rumour now is the owners have been arrested for allowing smoking on their premises.
You just can’t win in this country.
Heh!
Grandad April 13th, 2012
It’s strange how life pans out.
Weeks or even months of peace and uninterrupted tranquillity.
Then for no apparent reason life becomes hectic. It must be something to do with the alignment of the planets or something.
For the last couple of days we have been inundated with visitors. Everyone who we hadn’t seen in a while suddenly decided to call in for a chat. That doesn’t even include my friend who I ran into in the village. Now that I think of it, that encounter was the start of it all.
Last night we had a grandchildren sleep-over [fucking stupid expression – I bet it’s American], with the ensuing chaos today all with a background noise of loud cartoons on television. Boy do I really hate that fucking Scooby Doo!
I am now snatching a few minutes peace and quiet before heading off to meet a cousin whom I haven’t seen [or even heard from] in forty five years.
Yes.
It definitely is something to do with the alignment of the planets.
Or the Mayan Calendar.
Or Extra Terrestrials.
Or something.
Grandad April 9th, 2012
There is a video doing the rounds at the moment.
It is Google’s idea of the future.
A day in the life of a sad fuck
Now one or two of you may be aware of my thoughts on Twitter and Facebook. I can see they have their uses, but it’s the concept behind them that bugs me – that you are supposed to share every waking moment of your life with thousands of people who really don’t give a shit. What my pals are having for breakfast isn’t exactly earth-shattering news to me. I don’t give a fuck where they are at any time of day. I couldn’t give a gnat’s piss what their innermost thoughts are every five minutes of the day.
Google however are pushing this to a whole new level.
Not only do they want to bombard us with useless information every second of the day [If I look out the window, Google tells me whether it’s sunny or not? What the fuck?] but allows be to bombard everyone else with my own bland useless information, in a constant stream of banality.
I am well aware that I do in fact send out my bland thoughts in this site, but I only do it around once a day and people are free to ignore it they wish. I reckon out of the earth’s population of 7,000,000,000, roughly 6,999,999,990 do just that which is fine by me. At least I am not popping up on their spectacles just when they might be looking at something far more interesting?
Of course your modern X-Factor, iPod loving modern yoof is only wetting himself [or herself] with the prospect of this invention.
With a bit of luck it will nicely cull that corner of the species?
Grandad April 8th, 2012
I can only assume they had bad memories.
All those disciples, bishops and other assorted Christians sitting around a table trying to write The Bible [or “Christianity for Dummies” as one of them wanted to call it], and not one of them could remember the date of the Resurrection?
They even argued the toss for a few weeks trying to decide which day of the week it had been before deciding it was a Sunday.
But which Sunday?
They remembered that it was Spring all right as they had had to change their clocks and watches beforehand, but that only narrowed it down to a Sunday after the Spring Equinox.
Then someone remembered that there had been a full moon a few days beforehand as he had been out with his missus one night and she had gotten all romantic.
And so it was decided.
Easter was the first Sunday after the first full moon after the Spring Equinox.
Easy peasy.
Much more memorable than a simple date?
Grandad April 6th, 2012
Good Friday.
?
What’s good about a day where the pubs are shut?
Luckily our pub owner Pullit is a devout atheist.
He believes in multiculturalism and religious equality.
He doesn’t believe in the law.
He also doesn’t see why a law that is based on the Catholic Church’s desire to keep people out of the pub and into the church should be imposed on everyone regardless of religion, or lack of. He says that the Irish have a centuries old tradition of daily drunkenness and debauchery and that tradition must be upheld. Especially if there is a profit in it. He says that in these darkened times, people need something to lift their spirits. Especially if those sprits are his whiskey.
He is a wise man is our Pullit.
Good Friday?
Bad Friday!
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