Head Rambles

Grandad July 16th, 2010

Poor Snady hasn’t been getting much of a mention here lately.

I don’t know why, as she is rarely away from me.  We are a team and do most things together.

She has become the most affectionate and caring dog I have ever come across.  The only thing she demands from life is that I don’t leave her anywhere, and becomes quite pissed off if I do.  As a result, if I’m in out in the grounds, she has to come with me.  If I go in the car, she has to sit in the passenger seat and drive with me.  She is quite happy to be left in the car and will plonk herself in the driver’s seat and keep it warm for me until I return.

Once or twice, I have had to go out and leave her in the house.  She usually displays her displeasure at this by making a point.  Once she removed a loaf of bread from the kitchen and carefully placed it in the middle of the sitting room floor.  This is her way of saying “don’t mess with me, or I can do some real damage”.  Another time she brought a waste-paper basket into the sitting room and up ended it.  Again, a fairly clear statement?

Apart from that, she is a very caring and considerate dog.  If I am having a lie in, she will sit beside the bed, waiting for me to wake up.  It doesn’t matter if she is bursting for a piss, she will not wake me.  As soon as I open an eye however, I have to move quickly to avoid a face wash or a lash of the tail.  If I am in a good mood, she is full of beans and all on for a game of tennis on the lawn.  If I am in a bad mood, she will sit by my chair and place a paw on my knee and give me a long sad look as if to say “I feel your pain”.

Like myself, Snady likes the quiet life, hates loud tourists and just wants to be left in peace.  If Puppychild is around, she will do her duty and play for a while but soon gets pissed off and will quietly let herself into my ‘office’ [ever since she was a puppy, she has had no problem opening doors] and will stay there until the coast is clear.

The only thing she hates in life is a thunderstorm.  We had one last night, and she was reduced to a quivering jelly.  She frantically hides herself in the darkest, quietest spot in the house and will lie there panting and shivering until the storm is over.  I used to love thunderstorms, but now I dread them.

I love that dog.  I have had dogs all my life but she is The Dog.

Sandy – The Dog of a Lifetime

• The Family
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Grandad April 26th, 2010

I have always been amused at the different reactions babies elicit.

Nowhere is the difference between the emotions of men and women more profoundly illustrated than in the reaction to the sight of a new born baby.

I used to notice this in my working days.  One of the women in the office would be careless, and get herself up the duff.  The inevitable day would come when she would make her grand appearance back at the office, carrying a bundle of blanket.  The reaction would be instantaneous – all the women in the office would make a mad scramble across desks and tables to be the first to see this mewling squawking lump.  A few blokes were outed too, when they forgot themselves and joined in the rush.  There would ensue a nauseating cacophony of squeals and coos and they would all say exactly the same thing – “isn’t he/she beautiful?”.  This always struck me as absurd, as all babies look much the same.  Some are wrinkled and some aren’t but apart from that they are just babies.  While all this was going on, the blokes in the office would remain at their desks, cast their eyes to the heavens and carry on playing whatever computer game they were playing at the time.

Men tend to be far more pragmatic about such matters.

I went down to the pub last night, as tradition demands that I be brought a few pints on being a grandad [again].  In case of argument about my entitlements, I brought a couple of photographs.

I duly displayed the photographs and apart from a couple of grunts, the general line was “do you know who the father is?”  I ignored that, as my daughter’s private life is her own, but it illustrated perfectly the gender difference in reactions.

Someone else remarked that she was awfully young to be having babies, but I pointed out that that was Puppychild, and not my daughter.

Just to be on the safe side, I examined Tom to see if he resembles anyone.

To me he just looks like a bad tempered drunk sleeping off last night’s binge.

He’s the image of his Da.

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Grandad April 25th, 2010

I just published my first ever guest post over at K8’s site.

She didn’t ask me to do it, but I thought I would do it anyway, as she isn’t around.  Sod it.  If I can’t muck up my daughter’s site, then there’s no fun in life.

Anyway, I wrote it to coincide with the latest release of Grandad Version 3.

I’m off to the pub……..

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Grandad January 27th, 2010

It’s our wedding anniversary this weekend.

I had to delve into the recesses of my memory, but I’m fairly sure we got married in ‘75. 

Holy fuck!

Thirty five fucking years!!!

It’s hard to believe. 

During all that time, I am proud to say that I have remained faithful loyal married, which must be some kind of record.  If I were American, I would be onto my fifth or sixth by now, and sunning myself on a beach in Florida with a nice young twenty-something.  But I’m Irish, so I’m stuck here in the mountains with Herself.

Apparently it’s our ‘jade anniversary’ which means I am supposed to buy her something to do with jade.  She can fuck off.  I know of a slapper called Jade who works in a nightclub in Skobieville, so I might make myself a present of her for the night, but that’s as far as it goes [apart from the follow up trip to the STD clinic?].

Thirty. Five. Fucking. Years.

I can’t get over it.

Half the population of this Godforsaken country wasn’t even born, thirty five years ago.

I’m not going to mention it, of course.  With a bit of luck she’ll forget.  And if she doesn’t, she had better get me a damned good present.

It had better be a fucking medal.

• Around the house , Getting old , The Family
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Grandad November 15th, 2009

Grandad V1.0 was released to the public some seven years ago with the codename of Laughingboy.

Two years later, Grandad V2.0 [Puppychild] came out.

Some of the more astute of you may have noticed that there is an impending release of Grandad V3.0. 

We are currently at the Beta test stage and are ironing out the wrinkles, so to speak.  Final release is expected some time in the Spring of next year.  As yet, the new release is unnamed, and is currently referred to under the code name of “The Bump”.  I would of course like to officially pass on my congratulations to the team who have worked so hard [?] on bringing about this momentous occasion.

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