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Life Liberty and the pursuit of happiness

Grandad March 3rd, 2010

Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

These are probably the most famous words in the American Declaration of Independence. I would consider them to be probably the most basic rights of any man on earth.

The Americans are always on about liberty, and make great play about how they are probably the freest society on the planet. I would argue that, especially since they introduced their Homeland Security thing, but that’s not what I’m on about today.

I was browsing yesterday when I read a piece in The Rest of the Story. Quite honestly I had to read it a couple of times before I could believe my eyes.

"To further our mission of building healthier communities, effective February, 1, 2010, Memorial Health Care System will no longer hire individuals who use tobacco or nicotine products in any form. Memorial Health Care System and its affiliates recognize the major importance of associates’ health and well being, and the responsibility of maintaining a healthy and safe environment for all associates, volunteers, patients and visitors. Therefore, all individuals who are offered a position with Memorial Health Care System or any of its affiliates, are screened for illegal drug, alcohol, and/or tobacco/nicotine use as part of the post-offer health screening. Individuals whose post-offer health screening results are verified positive for illegal drugs, alcohol, and/or tobacco/nicotine use, and/or whose reference and/or background checks are verified unsatisfactory, will be disqualified from employment, their job offer will be withdrawn, and they may be disqualified from applying for employment for six (6) months from the date of the post-offer health screening."

In the land of Freedom; the land of Liberty, an organisation is refusing to employ people who have contact with nicotine. Now, the anti-tobacco crowd will see nothing wrong with this and maybe even some of you rational people may see no problem here, but I would ask you to stop and think.

I suppose it is within the realms of logic that a company could refuse to employ smokers. There is a marginal argument that a company may not like their workers nipping outdoors for a fag break during working hours. I would contend that if a company were so concerned, that they should fight to have the indoor smoking ban removed.

However, when you examine this ‘mission statement’ above, you will find they are going do regular screening – presumably blood/urine tests? – and therefore a person who may smoke say two cigarettes a day over breakfast is ineligible for employment.

However, this is not the ultimate farce.

A person who may be trying to give up smoking, with the aid of nicotine patches or an inhaler cannot be employed.

This drive against smoking is reaching new depths of depravity. We are reaching a level where the mere mention of nicotine will be a crime. Irrespective of the fact that there is no scientific proof whatsoever that nicotine causes to anyone [with the possible exception of the smoker, but I would even dispute that] there is a drive to criminalise a sizeable portion of society. Not only that, but they are criminalising even those who are trying to quit smoking. Smokers are now not only being treated as second class citizens, with no rights, but are actually being deemed unemployable. Where is the liberty here? Where is the right to the pursuit of happiness here?

This doesn’t just concern smokers. This should concern every single right thinking person.

This is not about smoking. This is about how a group of fanatics whose cause is based on hearsay, prejudice and irrational fear can inveigle their way so deeply into society that their twisted thinking becomes the norm.

Do we want a world where one group can discriminate so outrageously against another?

Do we want a world where, on the unsubstantiated claims of one group can turn another group into second class citizens?

Today, it’s smokers. Tomorrow it will be drinkers, eaters, you name it.

Am I the only person who is terrified at the way the world is going?

New traffic regulations to come into effect

Grandad March 2nd, 2010

Transport Minister Noel Dempsey has announced a series of new regulations which are to come into effect in the very near future.

Following on the report from the Road Safety Authority that one third of all road deaths are work related, he announced from his holiday on Bondi Beach that new measures were required to cut the carnage on our roads. “If one life can be saved, it will be worth it” he said.

The new legislation will ban any driver from using his or her car with the express intention of doing work. It is not yet clear if this legislation will include drivers who use their vehicles to drive to or from work, but it is expected to.

When contacted in his holiday villa in Malta, the minister stated that there would be exceptions to the new laws. “As people will be forbidden from driving to or from work, we have to provide additional public transport. Bus and taxi drivers will of course be considered as special cases.”

When asked about the inconsistency of this exception the minister, who was in Thailand at the time, replied that there would be no exceptions to the use of vehicles. “Bus and taxi drivers may continue to carry out their duties, but will, under the new laws be obliged to use bicycles”.

Noel Brett, Chief Executive of the Road Safety Authority welcomed the introduction of the new legislation. “Work related driving accidents cost millions of lives every day in this country” he said. “It is a well known fact, widely accepted by the scientific community that a van driver will kill at least a hundred people in the course of a week.” When challenged on the veracity of his figures, he retorted “what are you? Some kind of killer loving, child hating maniac?”

After intensive lobbying, Postal Workers have negotiated an exemption for themselves and will be allowed to continue delivering the post. They will however be restricted to a speed limit of 2 kilometres per hour on all roads.

Gay Byrne is said to be delirah and excirah at the new legislation

Research my arse

Grandad January 29th, 2010

I see Dublin is to grind to a slower standstill than normal from next Monday.

They are introducing a 24 hour 30Kph speed limit throughout the city centre.

So if you happen to be driving through O’Connell Street at five in the morning, when there isn’t a sinner around, you still have to crawl at 30. Fucking idiots!

One of the arguments for this is that research shows that 45% of pedestrians die when struck by a car at 50Kph but only 5% if hit at 30Kph. Here we go again. Some fuckwad has done some ‘research’ and we have to live with the consequences.

Actually, that research sounds interesting. Did they get a couple of drivers to drive up and down O’Connell Street at varying speeds and then count the fatalities at the end of the day? Are they going to do further research where they discover to their amazement that there are 0% fatalities when the car is doing 0Kph? God help us if they do as that will then be the new speed limit.

Why can’t they do a little extra research? Why don’t they discover that if the fucking pedestrians kept off the fucking road there would be no accidents?

Who pays these ‘researchers’? And more important – who decides what they ‘research’? Who is paying for the UK ‘researchers’ who discovered ‘through research’ that the G-spot doesn’t exist? And who pays the French ‘researchers’ who ‘through research’ say that it does? Mind you – I’m prepared to do that one for nothing.

Research has shown that survivors of fires can breath extremely hot smoke that is full of noxious gasses, yet can make a recovery and live a full life. Yet research has shown that puffing quietly on a cool pipe is going to lead to a miserable, painful and imminent death.

Some of these projects baffle the imagination. Who funded research that showed that cows with names produce more milk than cows that don’t? For fuck’s sake! And who funded research to discover which made the better weapon – a full beer bottle or an empty one?

I would propose a new research project; one that produces a lasting and beneficial result.

My project is to show that a world without researchers as a safer and saner place.

iPad is not PC

Grandad January 28th, 2010

A long time ago I wrote about my feelings concerning Political Correctness. In fact, it was so long ago that I can’t find it now.

I fucking hate Political Correctness. It is the greatest load of bollox ever invented.

Why do I hate it so much? Because it’s symptomatic of the touchy feely, no one must be offended or hurt type of molly coddling society we have become. We have to tiptoe through the minefield of life now, watching every single step just in case someone is offended. And if that isn’t bad enough, we have to watch out for groups who just may be offended, and we can’t mention them, just in case.

In my meanderings through the Interweb I came across an article in a UK newspaper. That article amply demonstrated just how fucking insane the world has become.

A woman wanted to advertise for a domestic cleaner. She wrote out a simple advertisement and approached her local job centre to ask them to display it. They wouldn’t. Why? Because she stated that any applicants for the post ”must be very reliable and hard-working”. What’s wrong with that, you may ask? The job centre refused the advertisement on the grounds that it may offend unreliable people, and that it was discriminatory.

Did you ever hear of anything so fucking ridiculous before? Is this not the greatest heap of steaming manure? Is there anyone insane enough out there to agree with this?

What next?

Are we going to be forbidden to greet people with a cheerful ‘good morning’ because we may offend people who don’t like mornings? Are we even going to be allowed to use our native language any more, in case we offend foreigners?

I was going to write a scathing article today about all those sad fuckers who were conned into buying the iPad, which is something they never realised they needed until the advertising hype deluded them into thinking they needed it, but I can’t now.

I wouldn’t want to discriminate against idiots.

Come into my parlour

Grandad December 14th, 2009

It’s not often that I see a little ray of hope in this Godforsaken country of ours.

For too long, the Nanny State has been encroaching on our daily lives. We are surrounded by petty rules and regulations to ensure that no one gets hurt. God forbid that anyone should scrape a knee or fall off something.

Probably the worst of these is the rights of a criminal. How insane is it that a burglar can sue me if he hurts himself while robbing my house?

I have a very simple philosophy. If someone enters my property uninvited he or she does so on the understanding that they are entering my world: my rules. Now at long last, the Irish Law Reform Commission are seeing things my way. They are to allow ‘lethal force’ against intruders.

For too long now, I have been forced to quietly dispose of intruders. I have had to make midnight runs to the landfill which just isn’t right at my age. Now that I can legally use lethal force, it removes a tremendous burden from my shoulders as I can now carry on my business unhindered.

Of course, I need to make plain my definition of “intruder”, lest there be any misunderstanding.