Head Rambles

Grandad April 23rd, 2008

I’m sure none of you are interested as to how I got myself a web server, but it’s my blog, so I’ll tell you anyway.

It started a couple of weeks ago, as I mentioned before.  I saw this offer on a web site, and it looked geeky.  I always wanted to be a geek, because it’s the next best thing to being a yuppy.

Now, as it happens, that company is owned by my old friend Michele.  I should point out at this stage that Michele is a man [as far as I know] and he gets very touchy when people call him a woman, so there is nothing untoward going on there.  He may fancy me, but I certainly don’t fancy him.

I rang Michele.

"Howya Grandad!  What can I do for you?"

"I want one of those server things you are advertising.  What are they for."

"Putting web sites on," he sighed.

"I’ll take one."

"Are you sure about that?" he asked.  "Do you know anything about setting up servers and maintaining them?"

"Yes," I lied.

Now Michele may be a friend, but he is also a business man.  He demanded money.  I didn’t mind that as I have plenty old credit cards lying around.  I picked one at random, and MaryLou Kawalszki of Florida paid for my server.

I played around with it for a while, looking into various folders and things, but that got boring.  I stuck a web site on it.  That worked a treat.

On Saturday, I had great fun.  I started downloading web sites from the Interweb, and copying them onto my new server.

On Sunday, the server blew up.

I think it may have been the Bank of Ireland web site, or there again, it could have been eBay that caused the problem.  But none of the sites worked and I couldn’t connect to the server to fix it.

I like to lurk on ICQ, and fortunately [for me] Paul, who works with Michele logged on.  So I sent him a message - "HELP!"

He was very nice about it, considering it was half six on a Sunday evening.  He cried for a little while, but eventually he calmed down and he finally got my server running again.  He suggested that I might like to take Google.ie off it and put it back where it belonged.  He also suggested that I might be having memory problems.  I told him it was my age, but he said no, that he meant the server might have memory problems.

So on Monday, I annoyed them all in their office about my server and just to get rid of me, they put in extra memory.  It has been running perfectly ever since.

They are a very nice bunch in Blacknight, though they do tend to get a bit hysterical when I ring them, for some reason.  They need Prozac.

I have just finished uploading Google Earth onto it, and now I’m going to delete all the stuff in the folder called ‘bin’.

There is an awful lot of rubbish in it.

• Internet , work
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Grandad March 15th, 2008

I used to live in Head Rambles Manor when I was a nipper.  But then I moved out.  I flew the nest.

I moved back again nine years ago, on the 15^th of March, 1999.  Nine years ago today.

I was thinking about those nine years this morning.  It has been a very strange time.

In 1999, I was an ordinary employee.  I was doing work that I liked in a place I hated.  Life was dull and routine.

Since I moved here, life has taken so many strange twists and turns that I am utterly bewildered.

It started when I quit work.  I couldn’t take the commuting any more.  I couldn’t take the office politics any more.  I wanted a bit of peace and quiet.  I wanted to relax at home with Herself and enjoy the countryside.  I took early retirement.

I was worried that I might get bored, so I started a little business, to keep me out of mischief, to pass the time, and with a bit of luck, to bring in a few extra bob.

I knew nothing about running businesses.  I did get some crap advice which I promptly ignored.  I just did it.

It got out of hand.  The fucking thing was a roaring success.  Now I’m trying to kill the business, or at least tame it a bit, because it takes up too much of my time.

I was also talked into becoming a teacher.  Me?  A teacher?  It was great fun, and I enjoyed it.  It paid extremely well, but again, it took up too much of my time.  I quit that.

Then I started blogging.  That introduced me to another strange world that I didn’t know existed.

I had no idea on this day in 1999 that I was going to

• Become a teacher.
• Start a very successful business.
• Make friends all over the world.
• Win two major awards.
• Appear on television.
• Do live radio interviews.
• Be interviewed by several newspapers.
• Be commissioned to write for the Irish Times.
• Be commissioned to write a book, for fuck’s sake.

As I said - it has been a very strange nine years.

So much for retirement.

Now I’m a little scared as to what the next nine are going to throw up….

• Getting old , Rambles , Times past , work
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Grandad March 13th, 2008

Laptop: What are you waiting for?

Me: Jayzus! You made me jump.  I thought I gave you to Herself when I gave her the old laptop?

Laptop: And then you networked the two laptops together?  Duh?

Me: So you’re back to annoy me?

Laptop: Yup.  So what are you waiting for?

Me: I am only just out of bed.  I have a lot of work to do and am trying to decide what to do first.

Laptop: Like Freecell or Minesweeper?

Me: Don’t be smart. Now that you’re here, I have a question.

Laptop: What?

Me: Why does my cursor sometimes slowly crawl up the screen even when I’m not touching the mouse?

Laptop: I’m working on a formula for anti-gravity.  Next…?

Me: OK.  A simple question.  I have several contracts to do, a blog to write, invoices to send out and a book to write.  Which do I do first?

Laptop: Solitaire.

Me: OK. Thanks.

• computers , work
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Grandad February 28th, 2008

• work
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Grandad January 30th, 2008

Sinéad Gleeson wants to know what it’s like juggling a blog and writing a book.

I wish it were that easy.

Some years ago, I started a little business, which took on a mind of its own, and grew until it was a full time job.  I even had to turn work away.

Towards the end of 2006, the work eased down a bit, and I had time to start a blog.  Last year was fine, in that the work came in at a trickle, and I had plenty of time for the blogging.

Around October, all that changed.  First of all, for no reason whatsoever, the work started to pour in.  I have never advertised my business, so I don’t know where they came from, but come they did.  And then I got involved in the novel thing.

I find blogging easy.  The hardest part about it is coming up with the idea, and that usually isn’t too difficult.  A quick browse around other blogs, or a glimpse of the news or whatever, and I’m away.  I write as I think.  I don’t plan or structure.  I allow my spell-checker to take care of spelling [except when it insists on using a fucking American version].  I am a stickler for grammar, but I probably get that wrong too.  If I get a post wrong, I lose nothing.  I can make up for it again.  Bloggers are used to bad posts, and generally are a forgiving lot.  And if I lose my readers, there is no financial loss.  All I have lost is the time taken to write it, which is counted in minutes rather than hours.

Writing a novel is completely different.  A novel has to be structured.  It has word counts, and deadlines.  It has to appeal to an audience that is not used to the vagaries of the blog world.  It is very time consuming and requires a lot of thought and planning.  A novel has to be good.  It is unforgiving.  I have to pour my soul into it, because if I get it wrong, then I have wasted months of very hard work, not to mention the time and effort [and money] that the publisher has invested.  Get a book wrong, and there is no second chance.  I can’t tell my readers to come back tomorrow, because I’ll do better.  I don’t get any feedback until the entire thing is done, so there is the constant fear that I will invest a good chunk of a year in a lot of hard work that will be wasted.

My work is a completely different ball game.  It is essentially mathematical in nature and requires a different part of the brain altogether.  Also, I am on call from nine until half five, so it can intrude at any stage.

So, the juggling is fierce.

Generally, I start the day with the blog.  I post my effort, and then turn to the work.  If I have something urgent on, that can take all day, but in general, I can keep clients happy with a morning’s work.  I then try and have a nap, and wake up with my Book Head on.  I then try and write for the afternoon and on a bit into the evening, or at least until Herself starts complaining.

It doesn’t work out that way though.

Once the blog post goes up, comments start coming in.  So even though I’m pounding away at formulae and calculations, I have to mentally switch to literary mode to respond.  It’s only polite, after all.  Then during the afternoon, if I’m really lucky, I get right into the head of the character.  I’m in the location.  I can see what is going on around me in the novel, and I literally write it as it happens.  And then the fucking phone rings and it’s a client wanting me to do something urgently.  I am dragged screaming out of my fantasy world, where I have been having a great time, and have to immediately switch to my Business Head which isn’t easy.  And then of course I have to worm my way back into the plot after.

There are four options.

I can give up the work, but my existing clients rely on me, and anyway we are saving to go to France hopefully.  I like France and the thought of it keeps me reasonably sane, even if they too have succumbed to the insidious smoking ban.

I could give up blogging, but frankly, I enjoy it too much.  That too helps me retain a modicum of sanity.

I could give up the book.  That would probably be the worst option, because it would be one of the greatest regrets of my life.  It is an opportunity that is afforded to very few.  It is a very enjoyable challenge, despite its intense frustrations and hard work.  I’m not writing it for the money or the fame or the glory.  I am writing it because it is my Everest.

The fourth option is to carry on juggling, which is really the only option open to me.

So.  If you’ll excuse me.

I have work to do……

• The Book , work
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Grandad December 31st, 2007

Just in case you were wondering where Head Rambles had gone……………..

I thought I would start the celebrations early.

While my laptop and I have been in constant touch over the last year, I have largely been ignoring my server.

My server has been doing trojan work, hosting my blog and handling all my mail. If it wasn’t for my trusty server, there wouldn’t be a Head Rambles.

I have never sung its praises. I have never said how good it is. I have largely ignored it. I felt very bad about that. So, today I decided to rectify the situation.

I sat with my server and we opened a bottle of whiskey. We discussed the past year, and I told it how much I appreciated it. I gave it a hug.

Then I gave it a glass of whiskey.

That was a mistake.

Sorry.

I have a word of warning to everyone.

Whiskey and servers don’t really mix.

There was a rather nice little festive blue flame, and my server passed out. It just can’t hold its liquor.

It’s doing its best to sober up now, but it may be a bit unsteady on its rack for a while.

I should have given it a Guinness instead.

• work
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