In the heat of the moment
Grandad August 2nd, 2007
We have just had a heatwave.
It lasted all day Tuesday.
Ron drove over on Tuesday evening and we decided to go hunting. The fine weather brings out the tourists.
It was a beautiful evening, and the tourists were grazing up and down the forest tracks. A perfect evening.
I got off a lovely shot. A clean kill.
Unfortunately, the bullet passed through, ricocheted off a rock and I shot Ron as well.
Two birds with one stone, as it were.
Ron tried to shoot me back, but couldn’t. Poor b*st*rd was probably in agony. But he didn’t have to make such a fuss over it. He’s a bit of a Mammy’s Boy at heart. And who needs that many fingers anyway?
I was all on for continuing the hunt but Ron’s yelling had alerted them all. Anyway he was bleeding all over the place while he looked for his missing fingers.
So I bundled him in the car and brought him to the nearest bus stop, so he could get himself to hospital. It was the least I could do, I suppose. I would have brought him the whole way, but I wanted to get home to see the weather forecast.
I rang the hospital today. They said they didn’t know what his condition was. Apparently he’s still in the waiting room. They told me to ring back in a months time.
They might have dealt with him by then.
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How awful! I hope you go to visit him every day.
Don’t forget the grapes!
Good God no. I hate hospitals. They’re full of sick people and MRSA and Vomiting Bugs.
He has plenty of company in the waiting room. I’m sure he’ll get to know some of them very well.
Anyway, it serves him right for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
It’s raining down here again. I was beginning to miss it after three lovely days of sunshine.
Lovely blue skies here. You live in the wrong place Robert.
Everyone here complains about our health care system but I would bet he would be seen in under a week here!!
I’ll send ya’ some rounds loaded with Nosler Ballistic Tip bullets. They mushroom upon contact so they reduce the chance of richochet and cause a larger wound channel. I’ll do this as soon as I receive payment for the last shipment.
We spoke before about your wielding guns around and not watching what you’re shooting. How can I keep covering up all these shootings and assassinations if you’re not co-operating?! I spotted Ron in Woodies buying meat-cleavers. I’d watch your own flanges if I was you… he’s not happy that his piano performing days are over.
Brainf – You don’t have Mary Harney looking after your health. Count your blessings.
I was going to ask about that ammunition. The money is in you Cayman Island account BTW. Could you please ship?
K8 – I can’t be responsible for stray rocks on mountainsides. Thanks for the tip on Ron. I’d better watch my back. He was always a hopeless piano player anyway.
“…and the tourists were grazing up and down the forest tracks. A perfect evening.
I got off a lovely shot. A clean kill.”
Hahahahahaha brilliant…
Manuel – You have a warped mind.
How very Dick Cheney of you!
That is a horrible thing to say, Deborah. Dick Chaney shot his friend because he thought he was something else. He’s an idiot.
I shot Ron by chance. I at least hit what I was aiming at. I’m not responsible for Ron being stupid enough to be in the path if a ricochet.
Please do send him some food and water so he wouldn’t scavenge for food in a hospital. Although that could make a good documentary film…
Grandad,
Do you know that the U.S. State Department has just listed your village as a “NO GO” area for American tourists?
They are suggesting that it is safer to visit the market in downtown Basra.
Also, don’t worry about Ron’s fingers. He doesn’t need that job as a sign language instructor anyway.
Paul – I did my bit. I brought him to the bus. What more does he want?
Nancy – I was wondering why my score for Americans was dropping off a bit. I’ll pass on your message to Ron if I see him. But I doubt he’ll be too friendly from what our K8 said.
I’m at my villa on Grand Cayman Island and my contact at the bank tells me my account has had no activity from Ireland. Don’t make me call Guido or maybe….I’ll start working with Ron.
Oh, I forgot to ask, how your new shredder is working?
I discover YOU just after I’ve seen Michael Moore’s SICKO and Hubby and I had just about decided to leave the U.S. and look around somewhere in Europe. Now I have to buy a “how to stay out of the path of Irish hunters” manual. (I’ll ask my real estate agent to help me.)
Brianf – The cash is now in your account. If you deny it, not only will I have you terminated, but I have a good offer from a Col. Qaddafi who emailed me. His prices are better too.
Hoof [or Ms. Hearted?] – I can provide that manual. If you deposit $1,000 in my Cayman Islands account [Brianf above will give you the details] then I will post it to you.
Alternatively, if you promise to be good, and not to buy too much land at ridiculous prices, then we might make an exception in your case. Only because I like Michael Moore, though.
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