Playing with The Big Boys
Grandad November 9th, 2008
For the last week or so, Maxi Cane has been waging a rather puerile war against K8 the GR8.
Why he should take such a turn of aggression against an innocent girl I don’t know.
Normally I wouldn’t be bothered by such a pipsqueak as Maxi, and would prefer to wage war on more deserving targets such as America or Canada, but I am sad to say that he has overstepped the mark.
Somehow, Maxi has managed to persuade some rather sad individuals to follow his ‘cause’, and yesterday one of them posted an article which was a direct attack on my good name. Presumably this was a pathetic attempt to curry favour with Maxi, much as the Green Party lick up to Fianna Fail for the sake of some imaginary power.
Not only was this article a direct attack on myself [“She has merely taken her cue from a man of no conscience, a man of great persuasion, a man who’s name will go down in history alongside some of the world’s most notorious dictators. This man is her father, The Grandad.”], but Maxi proceeded to compound the insult by issuing personal threats [“Watch your mouth beardy, or you shall face a fate worse than death.”].
This is a threat that I cannot tolerate.
Last night I had to take action.
I had to drop a five megaton Mary Harney on South Dublin to show Maxi that he is dealing with the Big Boys now.
I apologise for the slight ‘collateral damage’ as the American euphemistically call it, but the Infant Maxi has to be taught a lesson.
Maxi’s apartment block this morning.
Be afraid, Maxi.
Be very, very afraid.
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Well, I’m always telling people that living in the countryside is healthier and safer than living in Dublin.
And there you have it.
I do not negotiate with terrorists.
However, since your threats far from instill any terror whatsoever, I give you your final chance to give up.
No life lines, no phoning friends.
Final answer time, what is it?
Susan – The city breeds corruption and insanity. It is a dangerous place.
Maxi – So you survived? Pity. As for your pathetic attempt at capitulation, I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt. I wave my private parts at your aunties. You are as significant to me as the pimple on a wrinkle on a flea’s left ball. Quit while you have a chance.
Survival wasn’t a worry.
I must thank you for cheering my aunties up, they needed a laugh.
GD – I told you set the dial to 7 for 50 Megaton. You set it to 4 which was only 5 megaton. I still think the bunker buster would have been a better choice.
Jim C – You are right, of course. It’s that Cyrillic alphabet that keeps throwing me. Have you got any spare bunker busters that you can spare?
Is this for real or just some phoney bullshit blogowar? I need some background!
NaRocRoc – It’s for real all right. Maxi launched a cowardly malicious attack on my poor K8 for no reason. I was staying out of it, but then one of his minions launched an attack on my good name.
I call upon you as a right minded citizen to make your feelings known upon Maxi’s site. We must not allow him to get away with this kind of carry on.
NaRocRoc:
It’s real, but K8 kicked the whole thing off on my site saying how she would take pleasure in bombing me with tampons.
I retaliated and then of course, Daddy dearest here had to get his beard in a twist because his”poor” K8 didn’t deserve it.
Don’t believe a word this self confessed sex pest types.
Well call me Swiss during the Great Wars [we havn't a monkeys what this is is all about yet we have an intellectual haven we are fleeing to and are keeping our heads down].
..and, from what I’ve just read [ugh], we the Hoops are departing from this foul-mouthed battle and will concentrate on making clocks, chocolate and bank accounts.
All hail Grandad! (but obviously me, too.)
SHoop -I take it you are referring to the foul and disgusting language/images on Maxi’s site? I have to agree with you. The child is a menace and his site should be taken down.
Maxi is to blogging what Dubya is to the rest of the world.
K8 – What have you got to do with it?
Assuming that this is a small piece -de -theatre to get us through the doldrums of bloggery I urge you on to the death but if it’s not, why lump me, I mean us ( Canadians ) in with the dastardly, but now potentially redeemed Americans. If it comes to barricades and stuff, I’m on your side, never fear. That maxi fellow better watch his arse.
Foolish man.
Foolish Canadians.
Foolish.
I pity you.
I pity the fools.
Paulo – My wee skirmish with Canada was over the little matter of the insistence of Irish pubs in Quebec using French language signage. That matter is now resolved as your government wisely capitulated. If it comes to barricades, then it will be Maxi who is erecting them. I may need people to help carry cans of petrol if you are interested?
GD – Instead of buying from our discount inventory, We have a large variety of new ordinance available at reasonable prices. Recently we have had several opportunities to field test the new designs. I do warn you that do to recent market fluctuation we no longer can extend credit and will require 100% payment up front. We accept all major currencies, gold, and diamonds.
Sad, just sad! I see the little girl can’t fight her battles without help from daddy.
As for your pathetic bombings, we have begun a system of moving our leader to a new location each night, so you will never find him. Ha…I say ha!
I was blind but now I see. I think I’m gonna go the DeValera-esque neutrality route! But at NaRocRoc Island we shall set up anti-weapon of tampon destruction devices on our shores and we shall house prisoners of Maxi war in accordance with Guantanamo ideals. Plus we will gladly accept rendition flight payments.
[...] 10, 2008 at 5:33 pm (Uncategorized) War has been declared by the State of Kackaloo (aided by General Beardy Von Smoke) on the benign dictator Maximus Caneus (aided by his Ministry of Intelligence, Corporal Crabling). [...]
NaRocRoc – It is attitudes like that that have the world in the state it is in. You must join us on the side of decency, honesty and good marijuana. Get off the fence!
NaRocRoc:
Join us, the other side is all mouth and no trousers.
Some people like arse cheek splinters dontchyaknow!
And why is my pingback all Americanised? Another antagonistic measure? Another comment on Naroccan neutrality? How very dare you.
Maxi, I won’t be swayed. Even though you point out the other side are questionable in their lack of below belt attire.
I’ve set some C4 to blow the underpinnings of Maxi’s blog all to hell and set the timer for 6 minutes. He should have let K8 be queen and left it at that since I’m sure she would have just been satisfied with being queen and left him to run things as he saw fit. Could have avoided all this confrontation altogether but noooo. I mean, she has better things to do then run a pissant country like Maxiland.
Now where did I put that rocket launcher packed with those modified concentrated chewing tobacco spit missiles?
Kirk:
I do not need a queen, although you’re doing so much whining about it that if I ever change my mind, you’ll be first choice.
You leave Obi Wan Kirknobi alone.
[...] the wires of a victory in the short-lived war between MaxiLand and the State of Cackaloo. The Cackaloons have been victorious it seems. No images reach us yet. And we’re not sure yet if it is just [...]
Maxi:
Me thinks thou doth protest too much. You went up against K8amidala, daughter of Grandad and by doing so you lost before the war had even begun. By being too blinded with the lust for power you failed to see the obvious and like all other would be dictators and tyrants, this will be your undoing.
I stab at your nether regions with my light saber, I do!
K8:
It is only my duty to serve you, dear Lady.
Kirk M – I wouldn’t mind if it was only power he lusted after? I think there was an ulterior motive behind all this.
Anyway, he has fallen so it’s just a case of hanging around until the war-crimes tribunals start.
If ulterior motives behind this there is, him, I would not want to be.
And I’ll gladly stand as executioner if the post is open (what would you think about firing him out a torpedo tube at 800 feet? Plays hell on a body).
Kirk M – I’d say you’d have to get in line for that job. It’s up to Our Leader. Do you mean 800 ft up or down? Either would be interesting.
That would be at a depth of 800 ft since it’s extremely difficult to fly a submarine through the air.
Tell you what, instead of being lord high executioner, I’ll place my sub at Our Leader’s disposal if She cares to use it as the execution platform. It would be be a rather unique experience for all I think.
Wouldn’t the spectators drown?
Yeah, there is that. I could always pare down to a skeleton crew and take most of the spectators along for the ride. I’ll place video monitors throughout the compartments so everyone on board can watch. I’ll also setup an external camera and lighting on the outside of the hull pointed at the muzzle door of whatever tube we decide to shoot him out of. Then we can broadcast a split frame video via the flying antennae (yes, I have one of those) to an excursion boat on the surface for the rest of the spectators.
And K8 can throw the firing key herself. Impulsing (firing) a torpedo tube makes for a very satisfying experience (and one hell of a noise).
I think perhaps you’ve all gone quite mad. War will do that to you.
A five megaton Mary Harney? Wouldn’t it have been more efficient to use a Tiberium Vapor Bomb?
No, foul and disgusting talk I do not condone.