Ireland’s most cantankerous Auld Fella

Grandad November 27th, 2008

Things are progressing.

The Book is going off to the printers tomorrow.  I shall be at the station to wave it off on its journey.

A final decision has also been made on the cover….

FinalBookCover

You can click on it if you want to see the larger version and read the blurb.

The sketch on the back cover is a doodle our K8 did one day.  She wasn’t that happy with it, but I was, so I sent it to the publishers.  They loved it, and there it is.

I didn’t like the cover initially, but it is growing on me, along with the moss and the ferns.

I’m still not sure about the bald head, as baldness doesn’t run in the family, but it will help when it comes to dodging the paparazzi in the future when I am world famous [“That can’t be Grandad – he has a full head of hair”].

I’m also a little annoyed that they have taken my name off it, yet The Other Fella who only does my typing gets his name right at the top.  Fuck him.

And what is this shit about “Ireland’s most cantankerous Auld Fella”?  They have a fucking nerve.  Bastards.

All in all, apart from those little errors, I think it is a good design.

In fact, I think the cover alone is worth the price, and to hell with the contents.

No Responses to “Ireland’s most cantankerous Auld Fella”

  1. Darragh IRELANDon 27 Nov 2008 at 12:40 pm

    Oooh looking good. Fair play to ya Grandad, I look forward to my signed copy.

    My *free* signed copy.

    You know you want to…

  2. Twenty Major IRELANDon 27 Nov 2008 at 12:50 pm

    Best of luck with it!

  3. Spaghetti Hoop IRELANDon 27 Nov 2008 at 1:05 pm

    Love the spider’s web in the cartoon! May the book reach out to the unwitted and unrambled out there.

    There should be a space though between “roadworks,” and “Head”.

    Sorry – born to proof-read :)

  4. Susan IRELANDon 27 Nov 2008 at 1:06 pm

    Excellent! Glad to see the head got less spotty (whosever it is) and I love K8’s sketch at the back.

    Will be ordering it next week at the Reading Room in Carrick; how many copies do you think I’ll need?

  5. kate UNITED KINGDOMon 27 Nov 2008 at 1:15 pm

    Was that the legendary twenty major? How nice! See you are in good company Grandad or should I say you cantankerous auld fella!!!
    Well done!

  6. Grandad IRELANDon 27 Nov 2008 at 1:17 pm

    Darragh – A free copy will be given to everyone who sends me a personal cheque for €20.

    Twenty – Many thanks! And the best of luck with yours. Out a couple of weeks later?

    SHoop – I should have given you the job. It will have to stand at this stage though. :|

    Susan – How many toilet rolls do you buy at a time?

  7. Grandad IRELANDon 27 Nov 2008 at 1:19 pm

    Kate – That’s him. Don’t use the word ‘legendary’ though – his ego is big enough as it is.

    And don’t call me cantankerous!

  8. kate UNITED KINGDOMon 27 Nov 2008 at 1:38 pm

    Sorry my friend – but it’s written on the cover of your book – you are stuck with it now!!!

  9. Grandad IRELANDon 27 Nov 2008 at 1:47 pm

    Aw bollox!

  10. kate UNITED KINGDOMon 27 Nov 2008 at 1:49 pm

    the dog’s I assume?

  11. kate UNITED KINGDOMon 27 Nov 2008 at 1:51 pm

    I was surprised too as you have always ‘given out’ to me for even slightly alluding to the fact that you might be a small tad cantankerous!!!

  12. kate UNITED KINGDOMon 27 Nov 2008 at 2:04 pm

    In fact – look here http://www.iramble.co.uk/2008/07/do-i-need-a-persona/#comments

  13. Grandad IRELANDon 27 Nov 2008 at 2:09 pm

    I am NOT fucking cantankerous. OK?

  14. kate UNITED KINGDOMon 27 Nov 2008 at 2:18 pm

    Why does it say it on your new best seller then?????

  15. Andrew IRELANDon 27 Nov 2008 at 2:20 pm

    Looks great Grandad, the title font is much-improved from the first draft and I see you knocked a few of the liver spots off the imposter’s bald head. Good call, liver spots are off-putting. Best of luck with it, I’ll be buying a copy.

  16. Nick UNITED KINGDOMon 27 Nov 2008 at 2:49 pm

    It’s a grand cover. Except that for some inexplicable reason the drawing has omitted the shotgun and the line of tourists’ heads hanging on the wall. I suppose they want people to think the tourist shootings are just one of your little jokes.

  17. Bock the Robber IRELANDon 27 Nov 2008 at 3:15 pm

    Good fuckin luck with the fuckin book

  18. Ian IRELANDon 27 Nov 2008 at 3:15 pm

    Course O’Connor’s name has to go at the top – he’s your editor (and a lot of editing he’ll have had to do). The convention is that when there are a number of writers, it is recorded as O’Connor et al to save putting everyone’s name down. You can be Al!

  19. Grandad IRELANDon 27 Nov 2008 at 4:07 pm

    Kate – Because I didn’t design the cover.

    Andrew – Thanks! It does look a bit better without the spots, though I never complained about them.

    Nick – Actually, there was a rifle in the original drawing [shotguns are sooo unrefined!] but they left it out. Pity.

    Bock – Thanks. You’re a fuckin pal.

    Ian – Unfortunately there was/is only one writer. That O’Connor bloke does all the typing and I do the thinking and the hard stuff. I just dictate and he types. Like a monkey. Thanks for the Al suggestion. I am now humming the Paul Simon song as I dictate to The Monkey.

  20. kate UNITED KINGDOMon 27 Nov 2008 at 4:14 pm

    You can’t trust anyone these days can you?

  21. Moon UNITED STATESon 27 Nov 2008 at 4:48 pm

    Brilliant, good for you … I would buy it and read it, but I can’t be arsed !, seriously, good for you my blogging friend, don’t forget us when you are on Parky !

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  23. GoingLikeSixty UNITED STATESon 27 Nov 2008 at 5:26 pm

    How much extra to get a copy with a bullet hole?
    Congratulations!

  24. vicky rogers IRELANDon 27 Nov 2008 at 5:34 pm

    Hiya

    congratulations on getting published well done you. I would just like to say that your blog is the best when it comes well everything really especially when you go on ablout his lousy good for nothing goverment we have. well done you and i will keep my peeps opened for your book. am i being to cheeky in asking for your autograph?

  25. kate UNITED KINGDOMon 27 Nov 2008 at 5:47 pm

    Mind that swollen head now!!!!!

  26. Nick UNITED KINGDOMon 27 Nov 2008 at 6:22 pm

    I hear the paparazzi are already gathering outside Head Rambles Manor, looking for saucy photos of Grandad for the tabloids. Ah, you’ve done it now, you’re famous and peace and anonymity are done for.

  27. Grandad IRELANDon 27 Nov 2008 at 7:12 pm

    Kate – No.

    Moon – I am seriously underwhelmed! Parky? What about Oprah?

    Sixty – Free, after your effort today!!

    Vicky – Maybe an autograph would devalue it?

    Kate – Modest as the day is long. That’s me.

    Nick – They have to get past the minefields first. If they manage that, there is the ultimate line of defense – Herself!

  28. Baino AUSTRALIAon 27 Nov 2008 at 8:15 pm

    Dou you lot actually say ‘auld’ ? I heard you also changed the spelling of ‘crack’ to ‘craic’ to make it more Irish to spite the English? I love the scwibble! (on the cover I mean but I’m sure there’s plenty of it inside as well)

  29. Shammy CANADAon 27 Nov 2008 at 9:54 pm

    Grats Grandad, will be buying one for my cantankerous aul fella.

    Baino: “craic” is Irish for fun.

  30. Charmed IRELANDon 27 Nov 2008 at 10:59 pm

    Hey, just clicked on the Amazon link. Here’s what they paired you with as related links -

    Poor Circulation ? http://www.WarmMouse.com Get a Heated Computer Mouse Ergonomic. Works with Any Computer.

    Charms Hotel in Granada http://www.hoteldeperegrinos.com Spain Special Opening Offer! Third night free

    Now, just what on earth is this here all about, really??
    Darn it, now I have to do buy it to find out!! :-)
    A heated mouse (oh dear) and a hotel in Granada – the mind boggles?!

  31. Maxi Cane IRELANDon 27 Nov 2008 at 11:49 pm

    Best of luck with it, from a cantankerous young fella.

  32. Bock the Robber IRELANDon 28 Nov 2008 at 12:17 am

    I understand that “crack” is a word originating in the north of England. It was transliterated into an Irish spelling form after the 1988 European Championships when we decided we were great fun instead of the miserable bastards we used to be.

  33. Xbox4NappyRash NETHERLANDSon 28 Nov 2008 at 12:37 am

    Nice one, it looks more like an old head now than a zip-trapped testicle from the previous one.

  34. Omaniblog IRELANDon 28 Nov 2008 at 12:58 am

    Congrats. That must be a load off your mind. I trust you’ll enjoy being lighter in the head from now on. Go on, tell us what the next one’s going to be about…

    ps What can I do to help you sell a few in Limerick? Or Ennis, even Tralee? They don’t buy books in Cork if they’re written by bald men.

  35. Grandad IRELANDon 28 Nov 2008 at 1:31 am

    Baino – We say a lot of things under the affluence of incohol. The spelling is purely to confuse peeple.

    Welcome, Shammy! You have a cantankerous aul fella? You poor sod!

    Charmed – I choose my ads very carefully. The incident with the heated mouse is a closely guarded family secret though.

    Maxi – Thanks, but you don’t really know the meaning of the word. You’re too young.

    Bock – Are you trying to raise the tone of this with a bit of edumication? If so, then feck off.

    XBox – Frankly, I haven’t had much experience of zip-trapped testicles, so I wouldn’t know. Are you an expert?

    Omani – Strangely enough, it’s not a load off. I’m too busy working on plots, characters and things for future ventures. Seeing as Mercier are Cork based, I believe they are doing well with sales around the South West. Do you have contacts?

  36. Bock the Robber IRELANDon 28 Nov 2008 at 1:33 am

    Feck you!!

  37. Grandad IRELANDon 28 Nov 2008 at 1:38 am

    Bock – I am very sorry, but I am now officially Ireland’s most cantankerous auld fella. You might as well hang your hat on it.

  38. Tricia (irishsamom) UNITED STATESon 28 Nov 2008 at 2:51 am

    Great news! Congratulations. I’ll be buying a copy for myself and a few extra for some of the Yanks I know with no sense of humour… ;)

  39. Cathy M. UNITED STATESon 28 Nov 2008 at 5:39 am

    whoo-hoo…congrats[won't let me use shift key]

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  41. tt UNITED STATESon 28 Nov 2008 at 5:01 pm

    Wicklow, eh? Narrows it down a bit.

  42. Grandad IRELANDon 28 Nov 2008 at 5:21 pm

    Tricia – That is brilliant news!! Americans with no sense of humour? All 200,000,000 of them?

    Cathy M – Time for a new PC? ;)

    TT – It’s a big county. Ireland’s favourite place for hiding out and for dumping bodies.

  43. kate UNITED KINGDOMon 28 Nov 2008 at 5:34 pm

    Hmmm – thats where my family come from – come to think of it I haven’t heard from them for a while!

  44. Xbox4NappyRash NETHERLANDSon 28 Nov 2008 at 6:23 pm

    God no, I couldn’t be dealing with them yokes. Zips, that is.

  45. Omaniblog IRELANDon 28 Nov 2008 at 8:08 pm

    Grandad,
    I do indeed have contacts but Mercier will do a good job of selling you. It was people who bought books that put the shirt on my back, the food in my mouth and the rugby boots on my feet. I owe it all to readers, except those knackers who nicked them out of the shop.
    How much are the covers? I’ve been thinking it’s so good a cover, I might have a better chance of selling my stuff in your cover.

  46. Grandad IRELANDon 29 Nov 2008 at 5:37 pm

    Omani – Mercier seem to know what they are doing, all right. They designed the cover, with the exception of the sketch on the back, which my daughter did. You can always print off the image above? ;)

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  48. Darren IRELANDon 01 Dec 2008 at 12:51 pm

    Can I have a free copy? There’s a recession on, you know! :)

  49. Campbell Scott IRELANDon 01 Dec 2008 at 6:56 pm

    Can’t wait. Hope it’s here for Christmas.

  50. Grandad IRELANDon 01 Dec 2008 at 7:24 pm

    Darren – And the recession doesn’t affect me? Cop on. I need the money.

    Welcome, Campbell! Unfortunately it isn’t out until early to mid January. This was a topic for some debate, and the publishers won. Sorry.

  51. Tom IRELANDon 03 Dec 2008 at 7:33 pm

    Well done, this looks like its going to be a good one! :D

  52. Grandad IRELANDon 03 Dec 2008 at 8:27 pm

    Thanks, Tom, and welcome. ;)

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