To the people of Tver
Grandad March 17th, 2009
Do you live in Tver?
Never heard of it? Nor had I until today.
It is a city in Russia with a population of around half a million.
I am interested in Tver, because there is a street in it called Sovetskaya. And the reason I am interested in Sovetskaya is because there is a sneaky fucking bollix by the name of Alexander Goganov living there.
Alexander Goganov is dead meat. He has about thirty nine minutes left to live before a 28 Megaton eBay special eradicates him, and all who live around him.
I am sorry for the other people of Tver. I mean them no harm but as the old cliché goes: you can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs.
You see, I have just wasted that last twenty four hours repairing a few of my sites. That little fucker managed to hack a little file on my server that caused Google to think it was spidering my site, when it was in fact spidering that little fuckers site. And his site is full of warez and shit like that, so Google now thinks my site is full of warez and shit like that.
I had plans for today.
I was going to celebrate the official opening of the Tourist Season by going on a little rampage with the lads, and then end up in the pub and get hammered. They have gone off without me now because I was too busy to go. I can hear the sound of distant gunfire, and I really resent being stuck here undoing all Alexander Goganov’s handywork.
You now have around thirty two minutes left, Alexander. Say your prayers to try to redeem your sad little life.
I’m off to the pub now.
At least all the day won’t be wasted.
I will raise a glass to the other 499,999 people of Tver and say a silent apology.
But shit happens.
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So that’s what happened to your home page. It’s getting to be a regular blogging Cold War with Russia these days. or at least until that nuk of yours hits.
Glad to know the good stuff is still available on eBay. I thought they might have yanked it all off with that restructuring/revamping business that’s been going on of late.
And what did I tell you about that guinea pig?
Kirk M – I just did a search for tver on Google.ie and already this page is appearing. I seem to have cracked it.
What’s all this about nukes and Russia? The last few hours are a mental haze. And that damned guinea pig is staring at me again……
It was called Kalinin when I was there. I still have “friends” in the area should you seriously want anything done.
Yes, definitely the guinea pig had a hand in it. Sandy will need to go under cover on this one, I think.
Sorry about missing out on the distant gunfire, but surely playing with megaton-missiles makes up for it just a bit?
Well Grandad I’m glad to see you in such rare form today. I’m also sorry to hear about you missing out on “opening day”. I have to agree with the other commenters in that I think the rat-thing had something to do with it too. We should have some interesting sunrises and sunsets in the next few week though so not all is lost.
TT – I didn’t know you used to have friends there. Sorry. I could have asked them to nip around to Sovetskaya 60-11, and shoot the fucker. If they wanted to phone in advance, his number used to be +7.4822342452, but I’d say that will just give an ‘out of order’ signal now.
Susan – It’s good fun watching the yoke lift off, but the real fun is in the bang. No mention of it on the news this evening though. They’re too busy waffling about some bloke called Patrick.
Brianf – I’m not too worried about missing the first day. There are plenty of good days left between now and the closing day of the season on the 16th March 2010.
Consider it TCO. Courtesy of the Sointsevskaya.
TT – TCO? Total Cost of Ownership? Or do you mean something else?
Glad you got it sorted in the end.
Nuke?
That’s as nothing compared with the Old Testament curses falling upon the nasty little runt at the moment. Like Malachi 2:3, Psalm 137:9 and Deuteronomy 28:53 for starters.
Loius – Thanks for the help. T’was a tricky one to find!
Ian – I am surprised at you. Is Deuteronomy 28:53 the origin of the expression ‘eat shit and die’?
I don’t understand anything of what you just wrote apart from PUB.
Grandad,
That’s the advantage of being a Prod – excommunication is not much of a threat compared to a face full of dung!
Good to see you back on form young man – stay angry and learn ‘guinea pig lingo’ I think shewas giving you a heads up there!
Meh, Soviets are expendable
TCO= Taken care of.
[...] If you’re looking for Tvar in Russia in the future and see it wiped off the map, it wasn’t Grandad [...]
I’ve just did some thinking and I think I found a way to monitor changes made to the .htaccess file, which in turn will trigger an email alert to the website owner.
I’ll make it available for download, once I run few test, making sure is working as it should, so if anyone would like to give it a try, let me know.